So I was trying to think about just what it is that has made my desire to blog about comics become a chore, and I think I finally realized what it was this morning.
I was reading Green Lantern #24 this afternoon and I couldn't quite remember exactly some of the stuff they were referencing in this issue. It doesn't help that comics publishers all but refuse to reintroduce the Editor's info boxes that were a staple of comics for so many years. For example, it would say *See GL #19 - Ed. in a little box buried in the corner of the panel somewhere, and you would know to go back to that issue to get the whole story if you had missed it. This led me to do two things when I was a kid:
- Look for back issues in my grandma's basement or at the book store, since I had no concept of a comic shop back then, and
- Spend countless hours trying to figure out the who the hell Ed was and why was he the authority on comic book back issues.
What finally struck me was that I have Summereventitis. Bad. I love the Incredible Hulk, I named my son Logan after Wolverine (true story, I'll tell the whole thing someday soon about my sickness in naming children), and I am a huge DC fanboy, but despite all that I just completely lost my edge trying to keep up with all of them. To me it all ended up as World War Endangered Countdown Corps every damn week.
It totally out of hand, and I am not nearly original enough to believe I am the first person to ever notice this. In fact, I have read transcripts of both companies discussing it at comic-cons. It just never affected me until the last couple months.
It just seems like all I talked about every week was the same revolving storylines from the different events. Blah blah blah the Hulk kicked some ass, blah blah blah we still have no clue how to cure mutants, blah blah blah Sinestro wants to destroy the Green Lanterns. I actually took World War Hulk titles off my pull list altogether. What's happened in the last 5-6 weeks? Not much. Again, the Hulk kicked some ass and is using MSG as a gladiator arena. Whoop de frickin do. (Interesting note - "frickin" is somehow not tagged as misspelled.)
So do all of you want to hear the same ol' same ol' week after week? I didn't think so. So for the most part I am going to avoid droning on and on about events until there is actually something to talk about.
Green Lantern #24
And surprisingly I have something to say about GL #24. Follow along in your own copies. What? You haven't been buying this event? For shame. Of the four major events it is the only one that doesn't seem gratuitous. But this month's ish has a glaring error and is predictable as anything you're going to read in the near future. So without further ado.... spoiler alert.
OK I don't have room for all the panels involved in this, so you'll have to trust me on this. Kylellax goes after Hal Jordan's brother in Coast City, and while breaking the sound barrier to get there, Hal's ring reports it is at 0.5% power. After plowing into Kylellax, it reports it is at 0.0% and Hal reverts to his civilian clothing. Parallax notices this and consumes Hal and for some dumb reason is now yellow instead of green like he has been. Still with me?
Here's where it gets a but convoluted. Hal is inside Parallax with Kyle... in uniform. He gives him some crap about sticking together or whatever other cliche they felt like inserting there, and then Guy Gardner says "You see that, John? It's a green light!" And then this happens:
Whaaaaaat? OK we all saw this coming, because Kyle started reappearing in Countdown like 4 weeks ago post-Parallax! Good timing on your stories DC....
But seriously, is this the best that Geoff Johns can do? I personally have enjoyed almost everything he has done recently, but this is weak as hell. If Hal's ring was at 0.0%, then how the hell did he pull this off? And doesn't it kind of diminish what could have been a truly "special" moment for Hal and Kyle, who have never really been the best of friends?
If I am writing this scene, I have Hal's power ring run out, and keep it that way. Then have a "moment" like they had, but end up having Kyle's willpower become strong enough to defeat Parallax. His willpower has never been his strong point considering he is the only GL ever chosen for reasons other than enormous willpower, so it would be fitting and a stepping stone for him to become an even better GL than he is.
Then they would have popped out all gooey, given Guy an uncomfortable man-hug and flown off to kick some yellow alien ass.
I guess that's why I blog and Geoff Johns writes comic books. But whatever, it was still lame.
Raise your hand if you think Marvel will not eventually find a cure for Scarlet Witch's hex?
You in the back, put your hand down, you're a retard.
There is no suspense here at all. Mutants are Marvel's gravy train, and they aren't going away. And I have found myself sort of offended that they think we are dumb enough to believe that lie and place some kind of importance on an 8 page back story that they are using to sell comics like X-Factor and New X-Men that no one ever buys otherwise. It was a good premise to begin with, but they have just led us along on a wild goose chase courtesy of Hank McCoy, and to be honest, I can't remember a time in all of this that I said to myself "Wow I didn't see that coming..."
So in closing, fuck Endangered Species. I'll download the Archive Edition when it is over and find out what happened then. I am just tired of spending $3 on 8 frickin pages.
I'll get into World War Hulk and Countdown this weekend sometime. See you then.